LIFE: UNSCRIPTED

BY: PRATHAM GOLCHA

In a world that is obsessed with the need to constantly be productive and successful, control is often the key underlying factor- a feeling that puts one control in the driving seat of life. The mere prospect of relinquishing ‘control’ by any means, may seem counterintuitive, or even reckless at times. Since childhood, we have been taught that the key to success lies in meticulous planning, organizing, and managing life in a comprehensive manner. While there is no denying the fact that the former holds true, there is perhaps, more to life than just the same. We humans need to reconcile to the simple fact that no matter how paradoxical it sounds, the more we try and control every detail, the more we can see ourselves feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and out of control, eventually. All this ‘control’ to only go on to lose our peace of mind? Is it really worth it? Well, for some, it might just as well. Of course, we humans are bound to have different dispositions to life. Nonetheless, there are certain universal truths that remain facts, and hold correct for most parts; although life, being life, with multidimensional facets.

The human instincts of protecting ourselves, securing our futures, mitigating uncertainty, as well as having a surety of things are natural, and stem from our willingness to drive control over things in life. In a world as unpredictable as now, more than ever before, there is a need to have a sense of security and stability at some point. In order to make sure that the outcomes align with our expectations and desires, planning every aspect of our life meticulously, such as careers, relationships, everyday matters, etc., control comes out as the best path for the same. As we know, “it’s all in the mind,” and hence, in such a scenario where almost everything around us seems chaotic and uncontrollable, the feeling and belief that we can manage every outcome, seems a pleasant possibility. This desire to control things manifests in both small and large ways. For instance, at work, it might crop up as a need to micromanage people and projects, making sure that every intricacy is done exactly in the way intended. As far as personal relationships are concerned, it might show up as a way to dictate others on how to behave, or the likes; expecting them to act in ways that conform to our standards as individuals. Whether it is wanting to attempt to control things, such as weather, traffic, or even people’s emotions, we often find ourselves caught on the wrong foot to control things in everyday life.

Despite our best attempts at these, life has infinitely great ways of showing us time and again of how minuscule, we, as humans are- how little we can actually control in reality. It is rather ironic that the more we try and control, the more we become aware of the limitations of this same power. In simple words, the harder we try to have control over things, the more we paradoxically feel the likelihood of us losing control. Dissatisfaction, anxiety, and stress are some of the common by-products that our quest for control leads to. It can be quite overwhelming, and consuming to try and manage each and every aspect of our lives, thereby leading to breakdowns and burnouts. What happens in this case is that even if things start to go as planned, one might still feel unsatisfied, uneasy, and worried about the next potential problem, or its repercussions. It quite mimics the situation of holding sand in one’s hands- the tighter the grasp, the more it slips through one’s fingers. The constant focus on control prevents the very flow and enjoyment of life- of celebrating achievements, soaking in every emotion. With the people whom we connect to in life closely, it is all the more vital to let go of the hypothesis of controlling things, as it only leads to a cycle of dissatisfaction on both ends. Instead, fostering mutual respect and trust form the very foundation of any relationship.

If the dynamics are an end in the spectrum, where does the key lie, then? After all, there needs to be some way out of this cycle, correct? Well, the key lies in simply letting go. Letting go of people, situations, and every single detail of life- releasing the need to control everything around us. This way, we can try and start to create some space for peace, clarity, acceptance, and cherish what life is all about. There is magic in letting life flow, just as it should. After all, a human is endowed with only limited capacities. One has to bow down and accept that there is a larger scheme of things at play- there is something or someone more powerful than us, who has created everything. Humans are just minuscule mechanisms. Just go look at the vast oceans, mighty mountains, or the endless sky- and you’d realize the same.

But then, just because letting go is the key here, does not mean that it equates to being passive in life, or abandoning responsibilities. It means being aware and abreast of the realities of life- that it is okay to not understand everything at once, it is natural to not find the missing blocks in a jigsaw puzzle, called life. Recognizing the fact that there are elements of life we cannot control often go a long way in keeping our mind sane and peaceful at most times. Acceptance, at least, for me, equates to having half the battle won. One of the best ways to practice the art of letting go is mindfulness. Staying present and fully involved in the present moment, we can stave off from the prospect of what possibly can go wrong with us, thereby reducing the unnecessary stress and anxiety. This teaches us to respond to situations as they are in the real stead, rather than overinflate it with our unrequited emotions and overthinking.

We do have the power to control how we respond to those circumstances, no matter what. It enables building up internal resilience, and handles the unexpected better. While the fear of anything uncertain always terrifies, staying in the present helps staying composed and focusing on all that life has to offer. Then, there’s also the prospect of unrealistic expectations that are bound to overwhelm humans. Finding balance in life, aka, the middle ground, is the best way to approach situations and circumstances, because, of course, there’s more to life than just white and black, right and wrong, good and bad. Life is a journey that is meant to be freely lived, without holding back, inhibitions, or fear. A free-flowing life is just like an automatic vehicle on the road- at odd times, it might crash, but it does save you your (mental) energy big time!