HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

BY: PRATHAM GOLCHA

Healthy relationships are a vital component of health and well-being. We humans, cannot live in isolation in our lives, hence, there is a natural and inherent need or motive to socialize in the community or society we live in and around. Being candidly honest, there is no one definition of a ‘healthy relationship’ or a single perspective. A hundred different people sitting in a room may have a hundred different versions of what a healthy relationship means to them. For some, it might just be something as simple as a common taste of music, or for some others, it might be a happy marriage. The term ‘relationship’ doesn’t really correspond to one that involves romance or love. A genuine true friendship could also be termed a ‘relationship’. In fact, friendships are among the first relationships that a human encounters in life. The equations of dad-daughter, friends, cousins, etc. too qualify as relationships. Rather, for me personally, any equation that involves engagement and communication qualifies as a ‘relationship’. And these relationships define us, in our lives and also shape our behaviors and personalities. But before engaging in any sort of relationship, it is important to forge a great and lovable relationship with oneself. Until and unless there is self-love and self-acceptance, there can be no moving forward. “You cannot pour into cups if your own cup is empty”. These same relationships have a profound impact on an individual throughout his life because it is a proven fact that the health risks associated with being alone or isolated in one’s life are very much comparable to that with cigarette smoking, obesity and blood pressure. But nothing comes easy, neither loneliness nor relationships. For any good relationship, one of the most important ingredients is respect. Until and unless the other person understands your genuinity and where you are coming from, even if it’s your past, the relationship doesn’t really have a good foundation. Being a patient listener, the way you treat and are treated is what defines a true relationship. Personally, for me, the most crucial factor in a relationship is communication. Proper, honest consistent communication is a must in every relationship as it sets the tone and forges trust and compatibility. If you love the person, communicate; if you have any issues with the person, even then communicate. Miscommunication and communication gaps are the worst as overthinking and trust issues creep in and might turn the relations sour. Whatever be the situation, good or bad, favorable or unfavorable, just communicate and let the other person know so that it can be solved together and speak your mind. Fights are important in every relationship and quite natural as there are bound to be disagreements and differences in opinion, otherwise a steady relationship would seem like stagnation where the conditions apparently show passive communication and a loss of interest. It is also necessary to accept the other person as they are. In case of parents, they are the ones who mould the kid and hence, parents can scold and rectify behaviors. Elsewhere, it is important to realize that nobody is perfect and ideal situations rarely exist. An inherent feeling in all relationships is that of joy- you are constantly finding moments of making each other and yourself happy, but not by faking it, rather, 100% genuinely. Understanding each other’s wants and weaknesses is a must and there should be enough courage both ways not to hurt the wounds of the other in any situation whatsoever. Putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and understanding works wonders in all forms of relationships. If one shows one’s weakness and vulnerability to the other, that shows trust and honesty in the relationship. Also it is important to understand towards each other’s needs and wants to let things go. Sometimes, there are unfavorable situations in relationships and it’s important not to scrutinize and weigh-in them, rather, just let them pass by as time is the best healer along with communication. One important factor to be stressed in all relationships is- space. Giving the other person appropriate space and setting healthy boundaries are important. You live a life only you know about, and it is up to you solely how much you want to let the other person know. In a parent-child relationship, this rarely happens as the child is dependent on the parents and there are no such things as ‘boundaries’ at home. You are required to adhere to certain social settings and at the same time have your own space, whether that means having your own room with siblings, or your own social circle. When appropriate space isn’t given, things start getting monotonous and the charm starts to fade away eventually. There needs to be certain dimensions in your personality that you need to reserve, to let the other person have the willingness to know you more and keep the interest of knowing each other, duration of the relation notwithstanding. Again, this cannot be practiced in the parent-child or siblings setting. Whatever be the relationship, being happy and contented is important. Do, if it gives you joy. Spread love, peace and care but prioritize your own self first; all relationships are divine.